This Too Shall Pass

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Most of the time when life gets difficult for me in any way, I just remind myself, "This too shall pass," and set my head and heart to keeping my actions and reactions to a level that I feel will be pleasing to God until the situation changes.


I've been VERY BLESSED for ten years of my work life to have a job that I really enjoyed a whole lot... so much in the first years that I could actually (truthfully) say, "I LOVE MY JOB!!"  And I did actually love it for a long, long time.


That's not to say that it was always "a cake walk".  I was faced with MANY challenges along the way, but I felt like those challenges strengthened me spiritually because I poured out my heart to God and He brought me through.


Actually , it was more than being brought through.


He taught me a lot about how to live the Christian life in difficult circumstances and situations and He helped me exercise myself in godliness even when dealing with people who didn't have right doing on their minds at all.   They were focused on themselves more than anyone else.


But through it all, I loved my job.  ("They say" that being happy in a situation can affect your health in a positive way.  I suppose I could offer myself as an example of that.  In the ten years I have worked this job, I have not missed even one day that I've been scheduled to work.  I have not been sick enough to call out.)  


When I transferred to the south store, the challenges changed but there were some GREAT ones that I had to deal with then as well.   I sought God and He was with me through it all. And I never lost my love (or great like) for my job.


God has been with me this last year too.  I've sought Him earnestly as I've faced various difficulties and stressful situations.   And He has come through for me.  He's given me grace.  He's given me wisdom.  He's been there for me through it all.


BUT....


after over a year of the kind of stress we've been having to deal with now, I can no longer honestly say that I really like my job.


I have become like the rest of the people I work with.  I don't look forward to going to work anymore.  I keep looking at my watch all day long and counting how long it is before I leave.   When I am away, I'm happy to be away and I don't even want to think about that place.


Having said that, I can say, I still appreciate that I have the job I do.   I like the schedule. I like the environment, the music.  I like the fact that I move around, that I'm on my feet and not sitting.   On the whole,  I like the people I work with.   And we have a SUPER (fantastic, absolutely wonderful) co-manager now, who actually is the one who runs the store.   The manager is "not a problem" for me.  I'm even beginning to enjoy the customers--something I never imagined would happen.


It's not anything on the local level that has caused the change in my feelings.   But the pressure from higher levels has begun to take its toll on my enthusiasm.   I am getting weary of it all.     And it's because of that weariness that I don't look forward to going, I count the hours until I can leave, and I don't even want to think about the place when I'm not there.


Since it's not likely I'll get to quit working even when I reach full retirement age, but will probably need to at least keep a part time job, I'm not counting the days until I can retire.   I'm just continuing to pray that God will intervene and that the source of this pressure and stress will be channeled in some other direction.


I had asked for Friday night off before the schedule was made out so I could keep grandkids and allow Jef and Jeni to go to a work Christmas party.   I was SO HAPPY to be leaving when I did on Friday.   And I thoroughly enjoyed the time with my grandkids.


I spent the night there, then today, I stretched my enjoyment of my time away from work out to include visiting with Caleb, Cathleen, Felisia, Lexia and Daxton.   Later in the afternoon I went to see Cash and has a nice long visit with him (and Josh).  Afterwards I got to see Cathi.   And when I got home, to top off my day, Kirsti called me and I got to talk to her and Kali and Micah.


Kirsti gave me the uncondensed version of how Micah had run into the path of a swing that Kali and a friend were swinging high on and got hit in the mouth.  He got a very deep cut which took nine stitches to pull back together.   But he was still jumping around and very active.  She is a very animated and enthusiastic story teller and I enjoy listening to her accounts very much.


I've had a such wonderful and relaxing day and a half away from work and  I am looking forward to being with the saints tomorrow.


I am not looking forward to  being back at work by 8 AM on Monday morning.