Last Night I Went to Bed Telling Myself....

Do NOT let your circumstances affect your attitude.

And it's not that I'm getting a "bad" attitude. It's just that I've been so used to enjoying my job all these years but all this pressure from up above has been wearing on my attitude toward work. I just don't look forward to going any more. I used to like going to work. I really liked doing what I do there.

Now it seems like it's changed from doing a good job and serving customers, to making sure there's no dust bunnies under the water falls or dust on the ledges or black marks on the buffer edges of the counters. And that in itself is not a bad thing. There's nothing wrong with wanting a clean store.

It's all about priorities.

In my estimation, the hugely busy Christmas-inventory period of time is not when you want to be telling your employees, "Paint your bases", "Make sure you have NO handwritten labels," "Change out all glass from your shelves that is not clean," (not clean means glass that has labels where no label should be), and "BE SURE EVERY DAY that EVERY item is either sitting right on the very edge of the shelf or pulled to the end of the peg hook." (That requires a whole lot more time and tracking back than just a general recovery, because you can pull things forward and have things looking NEAT, but that's not good enough. Tracking back is necessary because as soon as you leave an aisle, customers go through and undo what you have done and that nullifies your "perfection". And they want perfection. )

These things would be better emphasized in the after Christmas/after inventory period of time when sales are down and there are not so many customers who need to be "serviced". "Spring cleaning" would be an appropriate concept. But who am I to know what's best?

Frankly, the continual drip, drip, drip, Chinese torture, method of dealing with their employees has affected my attitude toward my job. This whole package of just not being able to suit folks anymore has thrown me into an attitude of wanting to "retire". (I'm not isolated in my feelings either. Many of my co-workers talk regularly about what other job options they might have or look forward to the day they can leave. The ones who are "stuck" with this job, are totally frustrated. )

I seriously considered retirement. But I've rethought the whole thing and decided that it's just not necessary at this time IF I don't let circumstances affect MY attitude. I just need to "look for the good and magnify it", as Bro. Griffin is FAMOUS for saying.

I still have good health.

I like my co-workers.

I have no problem with my store level managers, except that they get stressed from the pressure put on them and sometimes get somewhat "testy" because of it. But that's understandable and it's not an in-my-face testiness. Any fair minded person knows they are just pushing to carry out the demands that are put upon them.

I still like the work I do.

I still have that huge ol' department that requires all my time and is located off over to the side in such a place that usually I don't get a whole lot of "walk-throughs." (For instance, people are not going past me to go to the breakroom, to the classroom, to the bathroom, or to most any other area they want in the store--unless they don't know where they are going. I do get people who have been directed by cashiers toward the corner to find what they need and use me as their secondary guide to get there. Normally, they are looking for something in party goods or in crafts and I'm the first one they see after getting to the back to ask.)

I consider not being a "walk-through" area a blessing mainly because I do have a whole lot of work to do and, while I am glad to help customers in every way I can, I'm glad that the help I usually give is limited to those who actually are wanting something in the general area where I am. (Although I do make a lot of walks to the art department because that's most often the place I take customers to if they can't find what they need where I am.)

I have other "blessings" to consider.
Closed on Sundays.
Close every week night at 8PM.
401 K matching benefits
Health Insurance
Pay check every other week that will certainly be MORE than S.S. would give me.

But mainly, I AM IN GOOD HEALTH. And I have no pressing reason to retire-- IF I give myself "an attitude adjustment".

I remind myself often that I've been praying about this situation for a long time and that God sees everything that's going on. It's in His power to change it whenever He wants to. Meantime, it's my responsibility as a saved person to draw upon HIS RESOURCES to keep my heart and mind and to function like a saved person should in the situation. Which means I draw upon His pool of grace. Which means I don't get drug down to the lowest levels of despair. And the truth is, I'm not as bothered or affected by this whole situation as my co-workers are. The truth is, I marvel at the grace God has given me and how I really don't FEEL stressed out at work. As a matter of fact, God's grace has been SO REAL to me in this situation that it has given me a greater burden to pray for other saints in stressful situations so they too can experience the grace God has for them. (Are you hearing me, Erin?) And it has taken EXPERIENCING the realness of this grace to increase that burden. Before I was concerned and would pray. But when you are actually experiencing grace and realize how REAL it can be in difficult situations, it certainly makes you want others to have it. (And I KNOW the saints are praying for me.)

So the conclusion of the whole matter is this:
I will not retire.
I will do an attitude adjustment and make myself think on the good and magnify it.
And I will remind myself, as I have so many, many times in life:

THIS TOO SHALL PASS.