The Last Good-bye

It was almost mournful how happy my departing boss has been ever since he made his announcement to us that today would be his last day. The closer the day came, the more relaxed he was, the wider his smile, the more he would joke around with us. And he made a real point of letting us know that he did feel like, in the five months he has been there, he had begun to really get to know us and enjoyed working with us very much. I believe him, because if this guy has been anything, he's been sincere and conscientious. He would NOT say something he didn't mean just to be nice.

He's more the kind that will just keep his mouth shut if he can't say something nice. Sadly, in some situations he has even said to me: "Be nice." I'd think, "This ought not to be. I should not be the one having to be told that." (One example, when I didn't respond to an arrogant CSM in the way she thought I ought to, she told him that I was being 'ornery'. When he came to me to find out what had happened, I explained and then added, "I don't know how anyone as ornery as she is could say a word about someone else being 'ornery'," his reply was, "Just be nice." And by the way he said it, I understood that he could see I was rightfully annoyed at her, but instead of acting annoyed he wanted me to "Just be nice"-- which, of course, is what I should have done. And exactly what he would do. I have some growing to do along that line.)

As I think about his departure, I say over and over and over again to myself: "This was all so unnecessary. It didn't have to be this way." And I believe the district manager really was sorry too. He actually called today and asked, "Is there a chance you'd change your mind?" (I asked my boss how he'd responded to that and the answer I got was so much "him". He said: "I was nice." And I know he was.)

My comment time and time again about this district manager has been: "He KNOWS HOW to be nice. He's been nice to both my bosses that quit AFTER THEY TURNED IN THEIR NOTICES." It's THEN he'd tell them the good they were doing.

If he would have just given this one a break, if he would have just given him any inkling that he recognized he was doing a good job, we would still have him. I mean, he would have been willing to put up with the long drive at least for awhile longer. If they'd have worked with him in any way.

But NO.

Can't do that.

Mustn't let anyone think they are doing something right.

Must pound, pound, pound so hard for everything to get done "yesterday" that he feels he has to work long, long hours and come in on Sundays.

Just notice only what's wrong and give no credit at all for the TREMENDOUS AMOUNT of hard work that has taken place.

No recognition for bringing things into line with the way corporate wants it done. No "I can tell you're really working to get things straightened out here. Keep up the good work. And I'd like for you to see to it that this, this and this also gets taken care of." (I mean, after all, we all know his job IS to point out what needs to be taken care of. That's no problem.)

It was a very sad parting for all of US. It has been wonderful to have a manager who was determined to do things right, get rid of people who were not working, have everyone working together to get the projects done that each of us had to do, and not take his frustrations out on us.

And, I could tell, he really was sorry too. He liked working with us. But he'd had enough.

So now we get to see whether the next person can take the pounding.

I've been praying about what's going on here for a long time now. My hope is that losing as good a manager as this one was will cause "someone" to re-examine their method of critiquing. Maybe our next person--whoever that may be-- will be given a break. But it's hard for me to even imagine someone replacing this one that will be as wonderful to work with as the one we lost today.