Christmas Is Closing In....

I'm off from work today and tomorrow. I'm going to eat lunch with my brothers today.

I've spent so much of my available time trying to get a room ready for the Fellowship Meeting that Christmas has just about "fallen through the cracks". I didn't have as much to spend on Christmas this year anyway, so I decided I'd create "a new tradition" at my house. Our family get together won't focus on gift swapping (because you have to have gifts to swap). We'll just get together and eat and give each family something simple, like a picture or some home made goodie, or something of that nature. I'm not going to give to my kids... just their kids and the simple gifts I give, I'll just take to them at their house so they can open it when they do their Christmas at home.

I don't expect my money situation will ever get any better and my grandkids will probably continue to grow in number so I need to think about what I can do to "handle" all that. I made a commitment to myself many, many years ago that I would NOT do anything financially in December that would depress me in January (or February-March-April-etc.) when the bills came in. If I didn't have the money for it in December, then I'd just not get it at all.

Last week was the first week that I really felt like I was "part-time" at work even though I was officially part-time November 28th. But last week I was given Monday and Tuesday off and the new head of the scrapbooking department was officially shifted from jewelry to scrapbooking. She ordered for the whole department all by herself. And when I went in on Wednesday to help get out freight, I just did what she told me to do. But I actually was NOT able to help her much at all--even though I was at work on Thursday too-- because I was used as a back up cashier pretty much every day that I worked. (They did let me help for a couple hours before they started calling me to the front, but that was all.) It felt so good to be able to walk out when it was time for me to leave without wondering how in the world I was going to get my freight out if I wasn't even allowed to stay in my department.

On Friday, I spent most of the time that I was not on the registers keeping seasonal "put-backs" put back and going through the department trying to stay on top of the HUGE mess people were making. I wasn't even needed to recover in scrapbooking because the department person closed that night as well, so I just stayed in the front. The advantage to that was that we got to leave earlier because most night after we finish recovering our own areas, everyone has to go to seasonal to make sure it's straight before we can leave. As trashed as it has been getting that has thrown us later and later leaving to go home.

I realized at the end of the day, even though I was very tired, that I had once again actually ENJOYED MY JOB. That's so unusual, I was almost scared to admit it because I have this weird sense of feeling that if I admit to myself something is good, then it will change on me. But I did allow myself to think that it had actually been good for ONE day.

On Saturday, I wasn't called to the registers as much but I was given the job of moving a whole sections of toys off the back wall to a place where they would be more sale-able. They weren't being seen on that back wall. It was work I enjoyed doing. I didn't have a deadline. I didn't have to worry about what I wasn't getting done in scrapbooking (which I would be later chastised for not getting done)because I was having to do this . At the end of the day, I realized that I had enjoyed a second day of work. TWO days in a row. It's been a long time since I've been able to go in and just work all day without stressing over/or being lambasted for what I was not having time to finish in my own department.

It is like I've had a load lifted off me. I thought when I left on Saturday that I might actually not mind working if this keeps up. And I know that I'm going to enjoy having more time off. There's so much I've let pile up at home over the years because I just didn't want to come home and work again that I'm badly in need of some down time just to get things back like I'd like them to be. I can foresee that in my future.

For the next two days at home, I'm going to have to work smart to get all the things done that I will have to have done before Sunday. I still haven't bought all the gifts I want to get for my grandkids. I wish I'd have time to get with Blake too, but I'm not seeing how that's going to be possible.

Our inventory at work is January 14. Until then I will probably be getting more hours than I will get afterwards. Sales drop off after that. The demand for extra work is not there. And I'm expect to get fewer hours. That's one reason I'm working without comment all the hours they are giving me now. I need to save up some for expenses that are above and beyond my monthly expenses-- like quarterly payments, house insurance, car tags, and other odds and ends stuff that may just come once a year, but it has to be paid. I have to think ahead and get the money saved up.

I need another cup of coffee and I need to start to work on the HUGE mess I've piled up in my bedroom-- while trying to clean out other ares.

In just two days, my "baby" will be thirty years old!!!