My Main Focus

Ever since I went back to work after my vacation-- which was taken at Bible School time-- things have been really stressful.   It was then that the co-manager who had been pretty much running our store for close to a year, was given a promotion.  When she left, that changed the way management operated  and our stress levels went up by leaps and bounds.


I've used this blog to "vent" my frustrations.   But I decided I've said enough about all that.  I believe I just need to leave work at work and come home and ENJOY the rest of my life.    I  have tried to be somewhat careful in the venting of my frustrations.  My privacy settings for this blog are set so that it is not "searched" by Google.   And I've always tried to keep the names of the people involved out of what I say.   I even took the URL for this site off my Facebook account.  Although I doubt very many of my FB friends ever go to my profile  to see that I had a website listed.   Only those people who have already grabbed the URL and saved it can find me.   But, I decided, at least until some of the stressful issues are resolved, it would probably be "smart" for me to just hide my comments.   If you keep up with me daily, you might know what I say, but if you don't then it may have "disappeared".   




I will cope with work- with God's help-- while I'm there, but it is not the source of enjoyment to me that it once was so I don't think it will be smart of me to dwell on it anymore than I have to.


Hopefully, in the not so distant future, I will be able to change my situation so that I am not working so much and can have more time for grandchildren.   It's been hard for me to have regular contact with Caleb and Cathleen because they are not in one place and I'm not good at keeping up with their comings and goings.  Trying to keep track of when they are close by  and figure out when I can get with them has not been easy for me.   My own tiredness figures into that mix.  And my lack of good memory.


Today Tim called me at 3 and told me they would be at his place for two more hours "if you want to see them".  Truth is I would have liked to have seen them, but all this work stress is causing me to lose sleep and I had got up way early this morning to pray about it all.   Then after church, Josh and Tesia and I fulfilled a promise that we had made for sometime with a sister at church.  We had been telling her we'd go out to eat together.   We did that today.   I was "so ready" for a nap when I got home and had just gone to my room to take it when I got the message that I could see Cathleen and Caleb if I came right then.  


That just didn't work for me.  I had church coming up in a little over two hours and I was tired out and very sleepy.  I wanted to get that out of my system before going back to church.  




The kids have all gone back to school now and Cathleen and Caleb are quite a distance away-- north of Huntsville.   I'm not sure how the visitation is going to be worked out, but if it ever starts having a predictable pattern, I hope that I can remember that pattern and get to see more of them.   (Since my memory is not my best asset.)


Church was good for me tonight.  It pushed back much of the dread and anxiety that I had about going back to work tomorrow.   I just need to keep earnestly praying about all this and trust God to get me through.


And work at not treading on anyone who is very sensitive about their power position.